Thursday, September 08, 2005

Day 1 of this insanity.

Day 1 of this journal, but day 5 of this experience.

I feel that I should explain what is going on here. If I can't explain it here, I may go crazy. I certainly can't tell my friends or family... at least not right now. Not until I figure out what is really going on here.

I'm starting this journal to document my experience, and just to have a place to work through my frustration.

Here's my story. I was born 13 years ago, went to college in Wisconsin 5 years from now, got married 8 years from now, had two children, and was making a nice life for myself as a professional travel photographer.
But then one day I slipped off a cliff while shooting in Colorado. I had a few moments of terror as I fell, knowing for sure that my life was over. But I didn't die in the fall. Or at least, maybe not. I woke up with a massive headache, dizziness, and nausea. When I tried to get out of bed, I found myself walking around my old bedroom from when I was a kid. I figured it was a dream, drank some water, went back to bed, and woke up -- still in my 13 year old body, living my 13 year old life.
For the last 5 days, I've been going through the motions, living back in 2005. Thankfully school just started, so I haven't had to catch up a lot -- it is just a new school year, at a new school. I would need to learn my way around even if I did remember anything before 5 days ago, so I have been able to hide my situation fairly well. My family knows that I am acting differently, but I am hoping that they are just writing it off to puberty.

Why don't I just tell them, you may ask? "Tell them what?" I will respond.. Most of you probably won't even believe this, so I am afraid of trying to explain it to people. I'm afraid of being accused of delusions and put into psychiatric care. Maybe they would be right. Maybe I am crazy. But then how could I have such clear memories of 2027, while 2005 seems like a blurry dream? No, I think this is for real. I will just have to learn my way around again.

I'll come back here in a little bit to continue to explain how this is affecting me. Just getting this much out is helping me, but I need to take a break before explaining what I have lost in this process. Even thinking about it is hard on me... give me an hour or two to prepare, and I'll try to continue me story...


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